Eckhart Tolle’s “pain body” theory examines the effects of the remnants of past hurt on our current lives. Our “pain body” is what causes us to overreact, causes us to blame and is used to dismiss ourselves from personal accountability for our lives. Though many of us were not yet born during the civil rights era or slavery, the pain and confusion of being forced to endure an inferior stance in life has been passed down through generations. The ‘black male ego/black female attitude” are proof of the destructive and counter-productive effects of allowing this pain to rule our lives unchecked.
The feuds between black men and women online are filled with code language that is meant to nurture and protect the “pain body” while neglecting and/or rejecting constructive and critical conversation that can bring about action. We often blame each other for succumbing to our own feelings of inadequacy.
“The only person I can change is me.” If your life is not what you want it to be. The only person to blame is yourself.
DISRESPECT
Ridiculous emphasis in the black community is placed on “respect”. The funny thing is that “respect” in the black community has become nothing more than asking that someone else aid in protecting an ego. Any perceived attack on one’s sense of self that has been built up around his/her “pain body” is met with overly emotional backlash. This makes growth impossible.
FINGER POINTING
We have become masters of finger pointing. We blame rappers for being poor role models for our children, we blame the school system for our children’s basic skills not being up to par, we blame the government for unemployment, we blame food companies for obesity, and look for someone to blame even when we clearly have power to change the outcome…
This even carries over into our jobs..how many times have you waited til someone told you to do something that you knew had to be done or that you’ve found yourself neglecting a task that needed to be done and justifying it with: “Its not my job”.
Each of us has power. Each of us can and do make an impact on someone around us. Each of us can move forward with ACTION when we start to ask : ‘WHAT CAN I DO TO IMPROVE THIS SITUATION”
We have to start asking the right questions to get the right answers and the right ACTION. We can only ask the right questions when we have acknowledged the pain body, recognize when we are being controlled by it and opt to TAKE CHARGE OF OUR LIVES.
